Have you ever had a day, or a week, or even a month, when nothing went right? You got up late, couldn’t find anything clean to wear, drove too fast to work and got a speeding ticket, forgot your lunch in the refrigerator, and, noticed too late, that your blouse is missing a button. On top of that, there was space in the parking lot at work.

You and I are climbing a mountain, hiking side-by-side. You carry a heavy backpack that contains all your life burdens caused by undiagnosed ADHD. As we start up the mountain, I question you, learning about the items in your pack and how they got there.

I discuss the journey ahead and describe what reaching the summit will feel like. I help you establish and achieve important milestones as we work our way to your ultimate goal--the mountain's pinnacle. When you experience signs of fatigue and discouragement, I provide support and guidance, bringing you renewed energy and confidence.

Take my hand and come with me,

I want to teach you about ADHD.

I need you to know; I want to explain;

I have a differently wired brain.

Sights, sounds and thoughts collide.

What to do first? I can’t decide!

Please understand, I’m not to blame.

I just can’t process things the same.

People with ADHD are prone to over-indulge. We don’t know our limits. It’s not until we are exhausted that we suddenly realize, “I’ve reached my limit. I attempted too much”

I know about over–indulging. I love information and find new learning exciting, but I overdo. I do a google search, study information at many websites, download numerous articles, read some of them, print out others, and save urls for future learning.

A child I know who has ADHD started his first day of school. I hope he has a good year because I recall having many school years that were not good. There is much I wish my teachers knew about ADHD and didn't. Maybe this article will fill in some gaps and encourage parents to advocate for their children until they can advocate for themselves.

My son was diagnosed with the inattentive subtype of ADHD, which is more common in girls and women and is diagnosed much less often than the hyperactive subtype. It’s characterized by trouble focusing, being frequently “spacy” or distracted, forgetfulness and lack of attention to detail. This differs from symptoms of the hyperactive subtype, most common in boys, which includes symptoms many picture when they think of ADHD–fidgeting, an inability to sit still, excessive talking and frequent disruptions.

Have I confused you? What I am trying to say is that some features of ADHD can be gifts, but overall ADHD isn’t a gift.

There are entrepreneurs who value their ADHD and say they wouldn’t want to be without it, but I am not one of them! Even some of them admit their ADHD isn’t a total gift. Glenn Beck, conservative radio host, said his ADHD is a gift for his work, but not for his marriage. While both Ty Pennington and Michael Phelps, in spite of their successes in life, have been arrested for drunk driving.

Dr. Rakesh Jain is a psychiatrist with great empathy for people with ADHD. He believes one symptom that should be included in the DSM-5 but isn’t, is how often we don’t attempt something because our fear of failure, because of our a history with failure. Brendan Mahan, an ADHD Coach, calls this “The Wall of Awful.” Our memories of our past failures prevents us from attempting something again.

Over 20 years ago I learned about the benefits of mindfulness for people with ADHD, but I didn’t listen.  It was a new age-y thing, the in-thing to do. Why follow the crowd?  The thought of  undertaking a new activity, even one that promised to improve my life, overwhelmed me. There were too many steps and I didn’t know where or how to begin.

I’ve always felt different — and it wasn’t a good feeling. I didn’t know exactly how I was different, so I couldn’t change myself to fit the mold. I wasn’t a social misfit, as I had friends and participated in activities, but I rarely felt relaxed or at ease in the company of others. 

Memory Issues

Post a list on the exit door—read each item and pat yourself that you have it with you.

Have a tray by the exit door for possessions you need when going out—keys, wallet, etc and another tray in your bedroom, for use when going to bed, for items you use when in the house, e.g. glasses, phone, watch.

About the time I got diagnosed with ADHD, Thom Hartmann produced the first edition of ADHD: Hunters in a Farmer’s World. I wanted to know the facts about ADHD; the research, and Thom’s book was based on a theory with only his understanding of ADHD to back up what he said.

Recently a woman with ADHD requested support from members of an online group. She wrote, “I am so tired of trying so hard. In spite of trying, my partner still feels I am not trying hard enough. He doesn’t recognize how difficult it is for me. I really feel like I can’t continue, that I can’t go on any longer. I can’t go on living like this. Of course, I wouldn’t do anything, but have any of you felt this way?

Hidden or invisible difficulties mean that individuals do not show any physical signs, although they impact the individual’s day-to-day life.

Complied from entries at r/adhd by Cynthia Hammer, MSW

My significant other told me not to take meds and discouraged me from pursuing treatment of any kind.

 I don't understand how people rationalize telling others what they should be doing about their mental health.

 After I told my friend I have ADHD, she told me "It is all in your head. Everyone has problems, but they don't use meds as an excuse to escape from them.” 

Strategies for Dealing with Boredom

The best strategy is to run away from boredom as often as the situation allows. Being bored makes us feel sluggish, dull, not alive so we need to avoid it whenever possible.  Here are some ideas on how to beat the boredom blues:

For patients diagnosed with ADHD, stigma leads to decreased self-esteem, less acceptance by peers, social isolation, and lower self-perceptions of confidence. When treatments are stigmatized, patients and parents are less likely to seek appropriate treatment.

Lately, I have been hearing about “adult onset ADHD,” but I don’t believe it exists. The people I talk with who were diagnosed when adults, tell me they had ADHD as children, but no one noticed or recognized it.

Living with ADHD is hard. Being told you don’t have ADHD (even when a physician has diagnosed you) is beyond hard. But being told simplistic ways you could stop having ADHD, is the most maddening of all. It insults and diminishes our challenges in one fell swoop.

Last week I returned from a camping trip. I lay in bed the following morning and thought, "I must unpack my suitcase." And then I reflected on past trips when I never thought, "I must unpack my suitcase." My earlier ADHD self was to let the suitcase remain, opened on the floor, unpacked for weeks.  Almost daily I rummaged through the suitcase for a needed item but still didn’t unpack it.