How to Change Bad Habits

Written by Cynthia Hammer, MSW

Last week I returned from a vacation. I lay in bed the following morning and thought, "I must unpack my suitcase." Then I reflected on past trips when I never thought, "I must unpack my suitcase." My earlier ADHD self was to let the suitcase remain, open on the floor, unpacked for weeks.  Almost daily I rummaged through the suitcase for a needed item but still didn’t unpack.  Now I lay in bed pondering, "How did I change?  How did I break this bad habit and so many others I use to have? What made the difference?"

People with ADHD put off doing whatever we find boring. We don’t tell ourselves we’re avoiding the task because it is boring; we tell ourselves we don't have time right now. It is not until we get reflective (I got reflective when I got medicine for my ADHD) that we realize putting off boring tasks is counterproductive. Not that I unpack my suitcase with zest now, but I know that unpacking now will make me feel better about myself.  It will make the room look better. It will allow me to have the articles I need readily available. I think, "It has to be unpacked sometime, so why not now?" When we are in the frame of mind to dislike a task, we imagine how long and unpleasant it will be.   But surprise, unpacking took all of 10 minutes!

Learning to not put off boring tasks is a huge challenge for people with ADHD. It is cause for celebration when we conquer our hate-ables (a phrase coined by Alan Brown, ADHD coach), when we can plow through the tasks that use to stymie us, when we choose to live a different way, when we no longer allow the hate-able tasks to hang over our heads and zap our spirits.

When I told a friend, I thought most of life was luck, she replied, "Luck and good choices!" As a reformed "later, not now " person, I notice the bad choices people with ADHD make. A niece gets out a roll of paper towels to wipe up a spill on the floor and leaves the roll standing on the floor. A friend doesn’t open her mail from her bank and doesn’t learn for weeks that she has overdrawn her account. A son starts to work on his tax return the day after it is due. Another son parts out a car with plans to sell the parts on Craigslist, but never posts them.  The car parts stay in his yard.

What hate-ables do you avoid?  What bad choices do you make? What unhelpful habits need to go?  Think about that for a while and then ask yourself, “What will I do to change?

Cynthia Hammer, MSW

Cynthia Hammer, MSW, was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD in 1992 when she was 49 years old. The following year she created the non-profit organization, ADD Resources, with a mission to educate adults and helping professionals about ADHD in adults. She ran the organization for 15 years before retiring.

During the Covid isolation she wrote a book about her life with inattentive ADHD which should be published by the end of this year. In writing the book, she was dismayed to learn that children with inattentive ADHD continue to be under-diagnosed and adults with inattentive ADHD often are incorrectly diagnosed with depression or anxiety.

She created a new non-profit in 2021, the Inattentive ADHD Coalition (www.iadhd.org), to create more awareness about inattentive ADHD and the need for early diagnosis and treatment.

https://www.iadhd.org
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