How to Change Bad Habits
Written by Cynthia Hammer, MSW
Last week I returned from a vacation. I lay in bed the following morning and thought, "I must unpack my suitcase." Then I reflected on past trips when I never thought, "I must unpack my suitcase." My earlier ADHD self was to let the suitcase remain, open on the floor, unpacked for weeks. Almost daily I rummaged through the suitcase for a needed item but still didn’t unpack. Now I lay in bed pondering, "How did I change? How did I break this bad habit and so many others I use to have? What made the difference?"
People with ADHD put off doing whatever we find boring. We don’t tell ourselves we’re avoiding the task because it is boring; we tell ourselves we don't have time right now. It is not until we get reflective (I got reflective when I got medicine for my ADHD) that we realize putting off boring tasks is counterproductive. Not that I unpack my suitcase with zest now, but I know that unpacking now will make me feel better about myself. It will make the room look better. It will allow me to have the articles I need readily available. I think, "It has to be unpacked sometime, so why not now?" When we are in the frame of mind to dislike a task, we imagine how long and unpleasant it will be. But surprise, unpacking took all of 10 minutes!
Learning to not put off boring tasks is a huge challenge for people with ADHD. It is cause for celebration when we conquer our hate-ables (a phrase coined by Alan Brown, ADHD coach), when we can plow through the tasks that use to stymie us, when we choose to live a different way, when we no longer allow the hate-able tasks to hang over our heads and zap our spirits.
When I told a friend, I thought most of life was luck, she replied, "Luck and good choices!" As a reformed "later, not now " person, I notice the bad choices people with ADHD make. A niece gets out a roll of paper towels to wipe up a spill on the floor and leaves the roll standing on the floor. A friend doesn’t open her mail from her bank and doesn’t learn for weeks that she has overdrawn her account. A son starts to work on his tax return the day after it is due. Another son parts out a car with plans to sell the parts on Craigslist, but never posts them. The car parts stay in his yard.
What hate-ables do you avoid? What bad choices do you make? What unhelpful habits need to go? Think about that for a while and then ask yourself, “What will I do to change?