I Was Transformed from an Introvert with Inattentive ADHD to a Social Butterfly….and Now I Wonder, “Who am I?’

by Cynthia Hammer, MSW

 All my life I have been shy and uncomfortable in social settings and meeting new people. I got totally wiped out whenever I had to engage in an extended conversation. When I read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, I said, “Yep. That’s me. An introvert.”  

 So, you can imagine my surprise and delight when I realized a few months ago that I was an outgoing, social butterfly, ready, willing and able to talk with anyone!

 How did this change occur?

I have allergies, and in addition to allergy shots and allergy medications, my doctor prescribed amitriptyline, an old anti-depressant. It wasn’t for depression; my doctor prescribed it because amitriptyline has 100 times the antihistamine of benedryl. Taking 100 mg amitriptyline reduced my allergy symptoms.

 But after finishing my five years of allergy shots, my allergies worsened. My doctor switched me to 50 mg of doxepin, another old anti-depressant, but one with more antihistamine than amitriptyline. Both amitriptyline and doxepin increase the levels of serotonin in the brain. With amitriptyline I noticed a slight uptick in my mood. I laughed more easily and often, but that was the only difference.

 But with doxepin? A whole other story.  

 I stopped avoiding neighbors. I called out, “Hello,” and started conversations. I made friendly chitchat with the clerk in the library. I sought out the bank clerk I hadn’t seen for a while. I called people to suggest we do something together.

Then, last night, I experienced a huge breakthrough. I attended a concert, and for over 10 minutes before the concert started, I initiated and maintained a conversation with the stranger sitting next to me! Me, conversing like that with a stranger? It would never have happened in a million years.

 Who is this outgoing person? Can it be me?

 My mother often took a five-hour flight from Boston to Seattle to visit my family and me, and every time, she had lengthy and interesting conversations with her seatmates. How I envied her ability to do that!

 Now, I am the same!  

Was my earlier social reticence part of my ADHD with a slow accessing speed for outgoing information? Were my earlier shyness and introverted behavior because I didn’t have ready access to things to say? Did my serotonin-enhanced brain increase my accessing speed so I quickly and easily knew what I wanted to say?  This explanation seemed to fit, until someone suggested that the doxepine treated my social anxiety.

What? Social anxiety? I never thought I had social anxiety. But as I continued to take the doxepine, I noticed that my nails were lengthening. I had stopped biting my nails.

Becoming talkative with strangers and no longer biting my nails! Doxepine, where were you earlier in my life? Better living through chemistry. I am lucky that doxepine resulted in my positive changes. But some day in the future, it won’t be luck, but science that knows exactly what tweaks a brain needs to function optimally.