Tips for Parenting ADHD Children When You Have ADHD
By Diana Silva at https://keywell.com.au/
Parenting is challenging for most people, but for someone who is neurodivergent, the challenges are much more complex. Not only do you have to attend to your child's well-being, but you have to also attend to your needs; in some cases, both overlap.
Tips & strategies
Neurodivergent families are different, so don't forget you have the best insight into yourself and your children. Use and adapt the tips below to help your family.
Your own diagnosis and support - If you suspect that you have ADHD, it is crucial that you get correctly assessed so that you can find the proper support for yourself. Your medical care team may recommend medication, therapy, or both. If you have ADHD and it is unmanaged, it may have crippling effects on caring for your children.
Find your triggers - get to know yourself by observing your responses and ability to cope with day-to-day demands. Sensory triggers can quickly turn into sensory overload. The good news is that some of these can be managed; for example, auditory hypersensitivities can be reduced with ear defenders or similar.
Identify your child's triggers early - observe and record events that are of concern using the Keywell app so that you can find your child's triggers. The key is to understand your child's needs so that you can adjust your expectations or make accommodations. When you meet your child where they are, it is amazing what changes you will see.
Regulation favorites - Knowing your child's triggers and what helps them regulate is essential in avoiding meltdowns. Some kids love to sit in a bath with bubbles; others enjoy fidgets or sensory toys. Ensuring your child has regular access to the things that help them stay calm will, in turn, help you stay regulated.
Teach self-advocacy - having sensory and self-regulation needs as an adult is perfectly reasonable. By self-advocating and telling your child that you need 15 minutes to calm your body and brain, you teach them how to advocate for themselves. You can say, "I think I need to have some quiet time. I'll be back in a few minutes. I will be in the bedroom".
Give your child options - often, when a parent needs to take five, a child decides that they need you right now. Depending on your child's age, you can give them options to feel connected to you even if you are not in the room. A piece of paper or a voice recorder are great options when a child wants to talk to you. Suggest they leave you a note or a recording you can listen to.
Be prepared - create a special box that comes out only when you need time. The box can contain whatever captures your child's interest: art supplies, puzzles, books, etc. Include a visual timer in the box that you can set and that they can refer to while you are not there.
Be kind to yourself - some days will test your limits. On these days, adjust your expectations and reduce demands on yourself. Not everything is important, but some things are more important than others. Drop the nice to-haves and keep only the necessary things.
Improve your capacity to deal with challenges - prioritize yourself by "habit-stacking" self-care strategies. Habit stacking means attaching your self-care activities to your existing habits. For example, you might "habit stack" eating breakfast and scrolling through funny videos. There are no rules on what self-care looks like. Self-care includes all the things that help you regulate and relax.
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Find more information and resources for parenting neurodiverse children at https://keywell.com.au/