Connection is the Key to ADHD Acceptance
By Alex Hey, ADHD Coach
Getting an ADHD diagnosis can be a life-altering event, especially if it is an adult diagnosis. You have learned something new about yourself and how your brain is wired. Things are the same as they have always been, but now, you have a name for your struggles and unique traits. While it is a good thing to have answers, it can be hard to handle.
How does one make peace with oneself after an ADHD diagnosis? How does one make peace with one’s past? It is a journey for sure, but there is hope. To process the onslaught of new information and experiences, seek the connections to help you grow and make peace with your life.
Connection Is Key
In their book Delivered from Distraction, Drs. Ned Hallowell and John Ratey write, “Creating a connected life is the key to happiness and health.” Being isolated is not suitable for anyone. Since the dawn of humanity, people have lived with other people. Cities exist because people need other people. If you just received your ADHD diagnosis, connect with other people.
Finding Connection and Acceptance at an ADHD Conference
One of the best places to find connections is with other people with ADHD.
The ADHD community is supportive. One of the reasons I love going to the ADHD Conference every year is to see the people I know from past ADHD conferences or my virtual ADHD connections. It is wonderful and affirming to be with people who “get it.” Connecting with your tribe helps you learn and grow.
Finding Year-round Connections
I get it. Not everyone can go to the ADHD conference. Plus, it is only once a year. Connection needs to be a year-round thing. Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) has local chapters that hold meetups, many of them now on Zoom and open to all. The Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA) offers online virtual support groups for its members. There are many Facebook groups for people with ADHD where you can get support and advice. Another option is ADHD on Reddit.
There are options out. Be bold. Be brave. Know that they will welcome you.
Acceptance and Connecting to Your Past Self
Having ADHD and not knowing it can be difficult. When you finally get that ADHD diagnosis, you might think back on missed opportunities. It may seem like you failed or that you could have done better. “If only…” you might think. We cannot change the past. The best way forward is to accept what happened in the past. Remind ourselves that we did our best with what we knew then. Others did the best they could with what they learned. All of us, growing up without an ADHD diagnosis, were trying our best. Whenever the what-ifs arise for you, tell yourself, “I did the best I could.”