ADHD?—Get Over It, Girly!

By Cynthia Hammer, MSW, Executive Director, Inattentive ADHD Coalition, www.iadhd.org

Living with ADHD is challenging. Being told you do not have ADHD (even when a physician has diagnosed you) is beyond hard. However, being told simplistic ways to stop having ADHD is the most annoying. It insults and diminishes our challenges in one fell swoop.

Here are some of the demeaning experiences and suggested responses posted by women diagnosed with ADHD.

I feel infantilized and invalidated when someone asks, "Have you tried to focus?" Don't they think I have the intelligence to think for myself?

If the person questioning you wears glasses, you could retort, "I don't think you need glasses. You should try focusing without them."

An acquaintance told me," I don't think you have ADHD." I wanted to put her down and say, "And how the fuck would you know?" Seriously. They do not have it. They do not read about it. They don't have the education and training to diagnose it, so how the fuck would they know?

It boils my blood how people dismiss the life experience of others based on their uninformed opinion and think its acceptable behavior.

I have learned that most people do not want to understand what you are going through. They would rather dismiss it so they can feel better.

I would love to ditch my ADHD. Can you please ask your mom how she would advise doing it?

I have gotten the most shaming from undiagnosed people who were raised with those shaming messages. I am sure I was that person on more than one occasion before my diagnosis.

I think sexism plays a huge role in the under-representation, diagnosis, and treatment of ADHD in women.

Denying its existence in women is a form of gas lighting. It is a way to tell women that it is all in our heads, that the struggles we face every day and in all aspects of our lives are not real.

It is as if you are exaggerating. It explains why many ADHD symptoms in women are typically minimized or dismissed as something else.

It is sad to think how many women struggle with ADHD and are misdiagnosed.

*This article may be freely copied and distributed.