If Have You Have ADHD and Are Forgetful, You Are Not Alone. Many of Us Struggle to Remember and Some Have Found Some Workable Solutions

Compiled by Cynthia Hammer, MSW, Author, Living with Inattentive ADHD

All the problems:

 *I remember very little of my childhood and only remember my kids' childhood with the help of photos.

*I have so much I do not remember, even when reminded. It is frustrating.

*I'm to the point where I worry about getting dementia

*I always thought I had a normal childhood with no trauma. But there has always been a nagging partial memory with clearly missing parts. Then one day, it all came rushing back to me, and I fully relived the experience. Then I remembered many more terrible and terrifying experiences.

*The brain protects you... in incredible ways.

*I cannot win arguments because I don't remember what happened, just how I feel about it.

*I relate to this post so much. Thanks for making me feel less alone.

*I take tons of pictures, for this reason, to help me remember.

* I started writing as much down as possible because otherwise, I spend so much energy trying to remember something. I relax more, knowing I have written it down.

*My husband says, "Remember 15 years ago when we road-tripped to Philly and saw your favorite band in back-to-back nights play in concert?" I replied, "Wow that sounds like fun! Did I have a good time?" It's sad. 😢

*I think it's one of the reasons we are susceptible to hoarding; items can help us remember the events associated with them. Without the items, we can forget those memories 😣I've decided when I need to get rid of sentimental stuff, I'll take photos so I can still look through for memories x

*There are very few times I remember past things on my own. I need "a thing" to remind me: smells, music, tastes, textures, those kinds of things. My 15-year-old knows I don't remember him as a baby, but if I see a picture, I can tell him all about that day. But without that picture/sound/etc... there's no hope.

*Trauma and ADHD symptoms overlap most of the time. Trauma can cause you to forget parts of your life or interfere with your memory. Have you ever seen a trauma-informed therapist? It's a defense mechanism, and sometimes dissociation is a way to forget events that are too distressing.

*Yes! I'm the same. My brother will often say to me, "Hey do you remember the time we...." and I don't have a clue what he's on about, even though he's talking about things I was involved in 😕 It's like he's talking about a different person. I love my children so much and think I was/am a pretty good mother...but I can't remember much about them growing up, which is very sad x

*My childhood is a blur, even in adulthood. I completely forgot about a trip to Paris with a dear friend!! When reminded, I could only remember bits.

*I was just as much of a mystery to myself when I was young as I am now. Frequently I couldn't get in tune with what I was feeling, nor do I think I experienced things at the moment as many do. My mind would get so wrapped up in my thoughts that my memory of what went on around me diminished. How can you remember something happening around you if your mind is drifting in those moments or is hyper-focused on thoughts within?

*My past is a mystery because I simply can't remember it.

*I have lots of gaps in my memory, and it upsets me. I sometimes sit and try to force myself to think about things. I have never gotten around to creating baby books for my kids, so now I feel even worse. I don't have that, and I have this terrible memory.

*I can forget what I was talking about mid-sentence or all the details of what someone just told me. I drift off in conversations because I worry about remembering what to say when they stop talking.

*I was so hard on myself for not remembering when asked

*I read it has to do with issues turning short-term into long-term memory. My son is 5, and I have realized I have forgotten a lot already, which pains me. I used to be the person that would say to put down the phone and enjoy the moment. I am now the one trying to remind myself to take out my phone and take the picture/record because I likely won't remember it 😭

*I'm bad with specific dates of when things happened, especially from long ago. Specific memories stand out; I can remember vivid details. But for the most part, everything is a blur.

*I remember highlights or what I wore, but not the year or other details. The concept of time, time periods, and years just disappeared.

*I relate to this so much; I had a lot of trauma as a kid, and paired with ADD, I think I spent my childhood zoned out with books and nature. Honestly, Madeline L'Engle and the creek behind my house raised me. Not a lousy childhood unless you need to remember anything. I'll see my cousins, and they say, remember this and remember that. I have no clue. It's why I've avoided big family gatherings. I always feel like an outsider. I was there, but they all share this big familiar story, and I don't.

*My husband has ADHD (hyperactive), and he can remember the stupidest stuff from his past, like everything. It's so bizarre to me! I remember some things but feel like my childhood trauma (it wasn't awful but emotionally traumatic nonetheless) has made me forget everything from ages 5-8.

Some Helpful Tips

I significantly improved my long-term memory by meditating. It took a year, but I love my ability to access that part of my brain again.

I can relate; I have been practicing mindfulness to help remember current moments.

There are many reasons for memory problems. ADHD could be one. Stress, trauma, lack of sleep, illness, etc.,....can also cause memory problems.

What I am saying is, don't give up! Our brains are amazing, and we can do more than we think. You aren't doomed to have a bad memory just because of ADHD.

Write them down! Make a memory book for each kid and write down the good stuff when it happens. Keep them in a safe place but easily accessible so you remember to use them. Have friends and family members write in them to help you fill in the gaps from years ago. Then you can use them as storybooks while they're young and gifts when they're older. Also, take lots of pics.

Have you tried keeping a journal? We have so many distractions these days, made worse by ADHD. But yeah, I used to struggle more, and journaling helped. If I recap a week or a couple of weeks, it helps.

If you post a lot on Facebook, as long as it doesn't go down someday, it will store many memories!

As a mom, I did a lot of blogging (very genX, I know) and took many pictures. It helps me a lot. I was terrified I would forget my kids' childhoods as I did mine, but that hasn't happened so far.

Much as I feel unmoored sometimes, it is also freeing. I don't get hung up on the past like others, and I can live in the moment and be present for new things. I think it keeps me young.

That's a good point - it's like the movie Groundhog Day in that we are experiencing things for the first time over and over.